, , , , , , ,

Once again, we approach the two month mark with a surprise biopsy looming over our heads.  Upon hearing this, I had a strong desire to scream at the top of my lungs “For cryin’ out loud!” except far less polite.  And unlike the last two go rounds, this time there is waiting between appointments – two days until the biopsy, and then two more days before we discuss the results with the doctors.  And I know that we are lucky – the wait could be longer.

Wow.  I thought the limits of my patience had been tested before with this whole waiting three months for the next scan, but I now see how the wait is completely relatives.  We had been so lucky – before, the biopsy was on the same day, or no more than a day after the appointment with the doctors, and then the follow up appointment was no more than a day after that.  Now, two whole days to wait each time?  Crazy.  I have been spoiled by the lack of waiting before.  Or maybe my patience is nearly used up and I have none to spare.

I’m a big fan of distractions.  Get out of the house, do something, anything to keep from thinking about what will be coming next.  Volunteer work is great.  Or Cleaning.  We spent today watching cop dramas.  Tomorrow will be Zombie movies.  And heaven help me, I need a plan for Sunday.  I’m less worried about me – I’m a planner.  I’m using this time to think through all of the possibilities of what might come next, and how we should handle it.  “If X then Y, if Y then Z, but if Q then S.”  But CrabbyCancerMan is a worrier.  But I fear that in the past months, we’ve used up most of our usual distractions.

One thing that has helped has been the sage advice of Coach-ette.  In talking with me about her husband’s colon cancer, and the waiting period leading up to the scans, and then hearing the results, she said “I try not to get stressed about the tests.  I remind myself that having the scan, the biopsy, or what have you, doesn’t change the result of the test.  If there is something there, it is there regardless of whether or not you have the test, so you might as well not worry about it, it is just telling you what is already true.  And once you know what the story is, then you can start doing something about it.”  Today, I remind myself of this, and while the tension doesn’t go away, it does make it more manageable.

Dear readers, what are your thoughts on this?  How do you distract yourself during this waiting game?